My maternity leave is fast approaching the end, and I am absolutely gutted! I go back to work on 19th November.. just after Freddie’s first birthday! Do not get me wrong, I am one of those lucky people who LOVE their job, but I will seriously miss spending after day with my little side kick. Freddie is literally my little shadow, I absolutely love spending every second of my day with him! My anxiety is increasing every single day I’m closer to going back to work. Wouldn’t it be great if I could have the best of both worlds and take him with me? A job I love, and my baby by my side.. what more could I ever want!
So some people might be reading this thinking, well if she’s so anxious about going back then why is she going? I’m going because I have to. For me personally (everyone is different) not going back to work just wouldn’t work for us as a family. I want to build the best possible future for Freddie, and that means me going out and heading to work! As a family we have a mortgage and bills to pay, and I also want us to have money spare so we can go and do things we enjoy! I just wouldn’t be able to do that if I stayed at home. I know some people can and thats amazing!
I just hate the thought of feeling that Freddie is growing up and I’m going to be missing it. He’s only little once, and his first year has been flying by! I just never want to ever miss a second of his life. I’m lucky enough that my mum is going to have him a lot the time I’m at work, then a childminder one day a week. I know he is in trusted hands with someone familiar.. but all I keep thinking as well is he’s my baby and I should be looking after him! I do think it will be good for us though, it gives us time apart and time to miss each other! It’s just going to take some getting used to. On my days off I’m going to make sure we have so much fun together. I’m just dreading that mum guilt as I’m dropping him off on a morning for someone else to look after him! It just makes me feel so anxious. Don’t get me wrong, some days he is hard work!! And sometimes it has crossed my mind thinking ‘going to work has got to be easier than this’. But then seeing his cute innocent face makes everything okay again. I just can’t explain it, a love like no other, and a best friend on a whole new level!
Its just a strange feeling isn’t it, you spend all your time with someone then suddenly your only seeing them for a few hours on one day. I just don’t know how I’m going to find it. I’ve always had separation anxiety when it comes to leaving Freddie. I still do it though because I know it’s good for us both, and I hope it will make things that fraction easier when I do go back to work.
I would love to hear all your mamas views on how you found it if your already back at work, or how your feeling about it!
I’ve wrote this blog in collaboration with,
So head over to their blogs and check out how they feel about being back to work.
I will follow this blog post up with one when I do actually go back to work!