Whenever anyone thinks of labour, I’m sure most people don’t think it will end in an emergency c-section! I used to watch all the one born every minute programmes, but it never crossed my mind that I would have an emergency.
I went into labour very open minded, everyone is different and you don’t know what’s going to happen until it’s your turn. I imagined it was going to hurt! But I just still never ever imagined a c-section.
I thought I would dedicate this blog post to my recovery process and how I found it.
I never even researched into c-sections, I obviously knew what one was, but I didn’t know how long recovery would be at all. When I was told on discharge I wasn’t allowed to drive for 6 weeks I was actually in shock! 6 whole weeks, without driving.. how was I supposed to get around! I rely on my car a lot! Seen as we live in a small town there’s not much here, so to go anywhere I need my car. It was also November time, the thought of having to walk anywhere was just awful! To be honest though I was lucky, I have plenty of friends and family who drive. They were also more than happy to come to me so I wasn’t on my own every single day, or drive me around if I needed to be somewhere. Being a new mum can already make you feel a bit isolated, but feeling like you can’t even leave the house really was just awful! I felt I was constantly pesting people to take me places!
So on top of not being able to drive for 6 weeks, your also told you can’t do normal household chores! No hoovering, bending down for the washing or to empty the dishwasher.. honestly.. I HATE cleaning so I thought ooo I love the sound of this! I HATED it!!! Having a newborn seems to automatically come with quite a messy house, there was stuff just everywhere. And the amount of washing you need to do for a baby is just unbelievable. And I couldn’t do any of it. I felt awful when Sam would get in from work and have to do jobs for me as well.
The pain.. do you know what overall the pain wasn’t quite as bad as I had expected! Don’t get my wrong IT HURT! Standing up and sitting down seriously was a challenge. That first time you actually try and move was just awful! You know when you just don’t know what to expect, it was exactly that. I mean we need to remember they have cut through all of your muscle, it’s not going to be easy! I tried to get up and about as much as I could though so I could get used to moving around. I remember the morning after I had given birth, the midwife came and said right let’s get you up and for a shower.. I mean obviously I needed one but I was so confused. I was thinking a shower, I’m struggling to even stand myself up, but you want me to get a shower!? Best thing I ever did though! I felt a little more human after. I found it so easy to forget that I shouldn’t be bending down and picking stuff up either. I am quite lazy!! But I do like to do things for myself. I got told off on several occasions for trying to pick stuff up and move things around. I needed a lot of help though at first, it then got to the point where I kept saying no to help. I hate relying on other people all the time, I just feel like I get on peoples nerves!
Do you know what also hurt.. laughing! Yes laughing.. something which was supposed to make you happy in the end made me upset. I had to hold onto my belly whenever I laughed because it pulled, it was awful! I used to shout at Sam saying please stop making me laugh it hurts!
A lot of people said to me ‘oh I was doing everything I shouldn’t have been by the time a few weeks was up’, but then they also tell me how awful their recovery was. I stuck to the rules and I did it for a reason, I feel it really helped my recovery. I healed quiet well after my c-section really. I didn’t feel like I was in excruciating pain for very long. And I feel that’s just because I didn’t over do it. I took it easy! Especially the 2 weeks whilst Sam was on paternity leave, I felt that helped a lot to not do anything whilst I had the extra hands to help me.
So out of all the things you can’t do, do you know what the thing I found the hardest was? Not being able to pick up and move around my own baby. I was given the most amazing gift ever, I finally had the baby I had dreamt of forever.. but I was unable to just pick him up whenever I wanted to, and cuddle him whenever I wanted to. It absolutely broke my heart! Obviously I still got cuddles, but people had to pass him to me. If sam was ever asleep, I would just stare into Freddie’s crib and just wish I could pick him up. I felt awful when he was crying and I couldn’t just quickly grab him! I would either have to very very slowly move myself to get him, or wake Sam up to pass him to me. It was 100% the worst part of the recovery. The pain was nothing compared to this feeling! I just knew if I overdid it though, I would end up a lot worse off! And potentially not able to hold my baby at all.
I always felt disheartened that I hadn’t given birth naturally! Do you know what though.. us c-section mamas have done an amazing job as well! We still created life. And then we had to go through an awfully long process for recovery afterwards! But of course, we would do anything for our babies to make sure they arrive into this world safely.
Whether you gave birth naturally, or via c-section… it makes you no less of a woman! We are all amazing 🖤