Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there! We’ve all had this awful feeling of guilt rush over us over something that we have done. Whether that being leaving your child with someone, to an accident that happened under your watch.
I feel like one of the hardest things about being a mum, is the constant battle of feeling like your in a competition, and feeling awful when your not that ‘perfect mum’. I mean on a serious note, what is one of those! We all try our very best to do everything for our babies, yet there’s things that make us feel like we still just aren’t good enough.
If you happen to be lucky enough to have not experienced mum guilt.. I’m going to explain it the best way I can. You get those horrible flutters in your heart which make your stomach churn and make you feel sick. Your mind is constantly saying ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this’ or ‘I can’t believe that’s happened’.. feeling your baby deserves better than this and that your doing something wrong. Asking those constant questions in your head over and over again which can’t actually be answered!!
I always end up thinking worst case scenario about anything. I worry about what Freddie might be thinking. Whenever I leave Freddie with someone I think ‘what if he thinks I’m not coming back’ ‘what if he feels I’ve abandoned him’ . I always wonder if he knows how much I actually love him and if I show him that enough! I always worry about something happening to him, and I’m not there to help him.. what if he wants his mummy? But I can’t be there?
Being a mum is HARD, you’ve gone from having to look after yourself to look after someone else. That someone else always becomes before your own needs too!
Why is it that mums do feel guilty, if we trip over our own feet we think along the lines of ‘ahhh I’m so stupid how did I manage that’. Yet if our child does it we instantly feel guilty about it and wonder how we could have prevented it. Well maybe not everyone thinks like this but that’s how I do!
Lets just try and look at it all differently, let’s look at the evidence we have that says we are doing a great job. You know that happy, thriving baby who is learning new skills every day? What more could you possibly need to tell you that your not doing it wrong. We all make mistakes it’s human. How would we possibly learn if we didn’t? Whenever you as a mum (or parent) makes a decision, I can guarantee you have your child at the front of your decision, right? And we need to keep reminding ourselves that! I keep trying to remind myself that actually Freddie enjoys other people’s company, he doesn’t want to be in my company 24/7 (as much as I would love him to).. and that accident do happen, because again.. that’s life! And the people he does spend time with all teach him different things! I don’t see why I feel guilty for going out and working all to raise money for Freddie and to spoil him. I don’t know why I feel guilty because I parent Freddie differently to someone else?
No matter what, this boy will always be my best friend, my biggest love, and my beautiful boy!
Mum guilt has been one of the hardest things for me since having a baby, and the guilt turns into anxiety for me and I spend most of my day worrying about it all. Just remind yourself, your child loves you unconditionally. You brought them into the world, taught them things and make them smile and laugh. Your amazing, and everyone will always do things slightly different to you! 🖤
This blog post is written in collaboration with the Mother Hen Club! I am now a Mother Hen and will be creating blog posts for them 🖤 check them out on Instagram @motherhenclub or have a look at their website!! Mother Hen Club 🖤 It is an amazing place for mums and mums to be to offer them support and advice.