Let’s talk hormones…
During pregnancy you are told all about the changes which are about to happen with not only your body, but also your hormones. I was told how normal it is to cry and breakdown at random things.. for example I put my tea in the microwave one night, it pinged Sam put it on a tray for me and brought it through. What did I do? I burst into tears.. why? I don’t have a clue! But I knew it was okay!
I feel after having a baby people don’t tell you much about your hormones and what’s normal/ what’s not. There are obviously a lot of tests for postnatal depression.. but I didn’t know much about how my hormones were going to change after giving birth. And to know where the line between this is normal/ postnatal depression seemed impossible to see for myself.
You get told how amazing being a mum is, and how it’s going to make you the happiest you have ever been. Your hormones may tell you something different at the beginning though. Don’t feel your any less capable or less of a mum because you don’t feel like that though. It’s also totally normal! It can take around 6-8 weeks for your hormones to settle back down (mine have settled but I feel they have changed forever). If your breastfeeding it can be for as long as your breastfeeding!
I remember a friend said to me.. watch out for day 3 and maybe stay clear of visitors that day. I thought to myself, it can’t be that bad surely? That I can’t be around people. Well… I was very much proven WRONG! I was still in hospital on day 3 due to feeding difficulties. I remember still feeling overwhelmed by the whole experience, and obviously feeling upset that I was still in hospital. Day 3 hit, and I was crying most the day, and if I wasn’t crying.. I was on the verge of tears pretty much all day. It took NOTHING to set me off. It started when I was told they wanted to keep me in another day, probably understandable! But I was pretty beside myself by this point, I had barely eaten because I felt sick (probably because I was hungry), but I didn’t feel hungry because I was just exhausted.
Later that day was tea time.. I had ordered a cottage pie, and for the first time I actually fancied food.. and it was the cottage pie I was waiting for. I remember being starving! The caterers had been and gone.. and no food! Well.. you would think I had just been told I could never eat again! I could not even talk to the midwife and tell her what happened without my eyes filling with a pool of tears. Luckily I had the most amazing midwife. I told her I couldn’t bare the thought of a salad or sandwich now the hot meals had gone. My mum even had to talk for me half the time I was THAT upset! My midwife was on a mission.. she made them go to the kitchen and make me food. And also returned with a chocolate brownie for me! She kept reassuring me and telling me it’s okay, and no one messes with her postnatal mamas!!
I would love to say after day 3 your hormones will settle back down, and you can expect to feel ‘okay’ again.. I don’t want to build up anyone’s hopes like that!
You’ve got so much you need to adapt to with your new life, you forget what’s ‘normal’ and what’s not.. I feel the way your feeling takes a huge step back in everything. I’m now 16 months down the line.. and I still cry A LOT more than I used to. I’ve always been an ’emotional’ person, but even more so now! I want you all to realise that it’s okay. It’s a lot to get used to, your exhausted, probably hungry (because who has time to eat now?), and someone else’s needs come first. That being said though, please look after yourself. It’s okay to have an hour to yourself, it’s okay to feel like you can’t cope right now, it’s okay to cry because someone said hi, how are you?, and it is definitely okay to not be okay!
Try and take some time to yourself, see if you can relax and chill out.. if you feel things are getting too much ask for help. If you feel this is more than just hormones after a baby please feel like you can speak out and talk to someone for some help.
I find that mine comes in waves now. I can be absolutely fine for weeks, then suddenly i get hit smack bang in the face with hormones. Some weeks I can cry over almost anything, I cry over the smallest things, I overthink things.. then cry about that! Your not alone. Hormones are a funny thing!! I’m just not sure I will ever understand mine.. but I’m just going to keep rolling with it. No matter how ‘silly’ you feel because your having a bad day, or an emotional one.. just talk to someone, or drop me a message. Absolutely no judgements here about what you feel upset over!
Wouldn’t it be amazing to be this care free?!
To brighten up people’s day.. I would LOVE to hear what the silliest thing is that you’ve cried over, either whilst pregnant, or after having your baby!
This blog post is written in collaboration with the Mother Hen Club! I am now a Mother Hen and will be creating blog posts for them 🖤 check them out on Instagram @motherhenclub or have a look at their website!! Mother Hen Club 🖤 It is an amazing place for mums and mums to be to offer them support and advice.